Q: What was your goal in writing Mission-Ready Friendship?

A: I have heard it said that it’s dangerous to bring up either politics or religion in a friendship. But I think a good friendship is exactly the place to be open about these things. I wrote the book so Catholics could see how powerful their friendships could be in bringing their friends closer to Jesus. We can purposefully lead friendships deeper so that we talk about our closest-held beliefs and most difficult struggles. Then God will use us to share our reasons for faith and help our friends discover the joys of being a disciple of Jesus.

All of this can be done without a shred of awkwardness if we are patient and don’t treat our friends like religious projects. The book helps people see how to do this.

Were there any events or experiences that motivated you to write this book?

When I felt far from God and entangled in spiritual struggles, I got to know a man after church while eating a doughnut. He followed up with me to deepen the friendship and then continued to share what he had learned from others about being a disciple of Jesus. This man kept meeting with me for two years to take our friendship deeper and help me grow closer to Jesus. He wasn’t my teacher, counselor or spiritual guru. He was simply a friend who cared enough about me to not merely hope that I would find my way in faith. He made sure I would by being purposeful about getting together and helping me grow closer to Jesus.

What is a “disruptive friend”? What does a disruptive friend do?

We often think disruptions are bad. Our kids disrupt important conversations, telemarketers disrupt us at work and a storm disrupts our family picnic. But disruptions can be good when they interrupt bad experiences and put us on a different path. Doctors help to disrupt our sickness. Police interrupt an attempted crime against us. Lifeguards interrupt the rip tide pulling us out to the deep. Disruptive friends see the hidden rip tides in their friends’ lives and seek to disrupt them by spending time together, praying together and sharing what we have learned about escaping those rip tides with the power of our faith in Jesus.

What are some reasons Catholics give for not being “evangelical”? How would you respond to them?

Many Catholics think that being “evangelical” is standing on a street corner screaming about people going to hell. Or they think it means knocking on random people’s doors to argue with them. But Catholic evangelization is not focused on strangers and is not focused on bad news. We are not judging and arguing with strangers. The root of the word evangelical is “evangel,” which comes from the Greek word euangelion, or good news. To be evangelical is to be full of the Good News of Jesus. The Good News of his mercy, forgiveness, peace, friendship, strength, comfort and purpose. We long to share this Good News with our friends and loved ones when the time is right and the Holy Spirit gives us the words.

What advice do you have for Catholics who want to respond to God’s call to “make disciples”?

God has a joyful path of blessing for you to lead people closer to him and eventually into Catholic discipleship. As we go deeper in our relationship with Jesus, he will open doors to go deeper with our friends. He will use your friendship with people to share what he wants you to share at the right time in the right way. The simple steps are to: 1) make friends, 2) deepen friendships, 3) pray for your friends, 4) look for opportunities to learn more about their real struggles and questions in life, 5) be ready to share what the Holy Spirit has shown you in your relationship with God. I wrote the book to help people feel more comfortable being this kind of mission-ready friend with people. The Holy Spirit loves to work miracles through our friendships!

Mission-Ready Friendship was published in August 2024 and is available from Ave Maria Press: avemariapress.com.