Cultivating relationships with grandparents
Raising saints is a story of hard work sprinkled with plot twists, character changes, triumphs, tragedies, celebrations and frustrations. Great parenting is achieved by the grace of God and with backup from an older, experienced, loving generation. Grandparents have so much to offer, but as with all relationships, communication and commitment are essential. When all three generations – child, parent and grandparent – are connected, that richness blesses everyone. Let these tips guide you in nurturing this important partnership.
Raising saints is a story of hard work sprinkled with plot twists, character changes, triumphs, tragedies, celebrations and frustrations. Great parenting is achieved by the grace of God and with backup from an older, experienced, loving generation. Grandparents have so much to offer, but as with all relationships, communication and commitment are essential. When all three generations – child, parent and grandparent – are connected, that richness blesses everyone. Let these tips guide you in nurturing this important partnership.
Presence
Lasting, loving relationships are based on connection. Whether the distance between you is great or small, consistent contact and presence is a must. Visits, phone calls or video chats need to be mindfully planned. Technology allows us to share the small moments as well as the big ones. Kids need to feel loved and supported, and grandparents love to be needed and included.
Curiosity
Nurture a sense of wonder in your kids about their grandparents and encourage them to ask the little questions such as: What was your favorite sport or subject in school? Conversations about sixth grade through the eyes of a grandparent as compared to a grandchild’s life as a sixth grader today can offer wisdom, insight and perspective.
Loving respect
Each generation has a different set of needs in their season of life. Kids need to understand that energy and noise might need adjustment from time to time. Parents need to remind kids that good manners are a sort of love language for grandparents. Give them the opportunity to learn things from their grandparents; kids can hold on to these nuggets and perhaps they will even come in handy later in life.
Modeling
Our kids are sponges and they will model their attitude after ours. If a grandparent needs some assistance, a powerful way to teach your children empathy is by being kind, gentle, patient and helpful yourself. Show them what it looks like to honor their grandparents by honoring your parents.
Value
Encourage your children to talk to grandparents about faith. Simple questions about their First Communion or their confirmation, and stories about how God has blessed their life, are powerful. Encourage kids and grandparents to pray together. How powerful it would be to schedule a video call with Grandpa each week and pray a rosary or decade of the rosary together and talk about the blessings and struggles of the week. Our kids can never have too many heroes or champions in their corner.
Grandparents have lived, seen, experienced and prayed their way through many years, so let’s make sure our kids have the opportunity to soak up all that experience and treasure the gifts they offer.
Sheri Wohlfert is a Catholic wife, mom, grandma, speaker and writer. Catch her blog at www.joyfulwords.org.
